It was never about lust.

It was never about lust, you know. 

It was genuine and pure love that I had for you. 

Even now, after all these years when I'm alone in my bed,

crying like a baby, cuddled up and twisted within my own self,

I never imagine you over me and above me or

caressing my body. I want you here, Just here. 

Looking at me. Laughing, all lovable. 

And, talking to me just like when we were best friends. 

-Fa

"All I ask"

All I ask.

I used to make ridicule about what they said when they said "All I ask" of you to love me or "all I ask" is for you be mine. I mean, its not little. Not little at all. Its not "All you ask" it is actually all you can ever ask. Its the best, most dangerously massive thing to entrust. All your love. All of you. It is. Isn't it? But then I thought about loving you. How abnormally, unawaited love that is. 

How unconditional and meaningless it really is.
And, the truth is, it is always going to stay - this love. This affection and care and support and regard that I have for you will never fade. It will breathe to its fullest. It will live with lavish. It will take over absolutely all the love you have ever had in all your life. Each second and each moment of each breath, I will love you to my fullest. 
I will take care of you like something that I'm most reliant upon. I will love you with the most vulnerable parts of myself. You will be next to none and you will be my only one. Always. All I ask is for you to give me all of you. All I ask is for you to love me. Only then perhaps, "all I ask" stroked some air.

-Fa

Love at first sight

I'm not saying that it was love at first sight.
I'm not even sure if I believe in such abstract orthodox. 

All I know is that what I felt when I first saw you and your divine facet,

it was the electricity I haven't felt ever before. Never after that. 

-Fa

Friends.

Okay. 

I'm being honest now. Its me speaking. 

Only me. Not my ego. Not my self righteousness. 

Not even my wingless freedom of speech. It is me speaking. 

It's Afaf. It hurts to see you being that kind with someone who is the reason 

behind my irrecoverable scars. I mean, I know she's your friend and everything. 

But it hurts to know that you aren't even a little mad at the person who

 did nothing but tip toe over my shattered pieces when I couldn't 

even move from the pain. At the one person who I thought 

would be there always, and the very person who 

oiled the fire that burnt inside of me. 

You're not even a little mad? 

-Fa