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Welcome!

Here you will find notes from my phone, processed thoughts, new and recycled ideas, revelations, epiphanies, poetry, dark humor, first drafts, muse, motivation, light of hope in the pitch darkness, analysis of experience, consciousness, human sensitivities, behavior and life related stuff.

Please be advised that my thoughts in the form of writing would be complex multi-layered parentheses openings and closings filled. I like catering to second thoughts. My mind is usually functioning at a stream of consciousness. Default mode is activated too easily and too quickly. It's a vice I need to work on. In this system, each branch of a thought brings about a flow of mini-branches and twigs of ideas, memories, and sub-thoughts. Be prepared to witness the weirdest aspects of human behavior. It can be confusing for readers. Please accept my apologies if some of the thoughts are disturbing for you. They were disturbing for me too. 

I like to store some of the many events in my mind on this blog. Ideally, I would document all of my mental activity half of my life and evaluate it the rest of my life. However, in the case of how reality works, I am publishing just a few of my thoughts. Please take everything I have written with a grain of salt. I have considered deleting some of the oldest most embarrassing pieces from the blog. But I decided to keep them as a reminder of who I used to be and who I have become now. It inspires me to learn, read and write more.

This blog is a peek into my thoughts over the years as I grew into the woman (I call myself a woman, but you can call me lady) I am now. Please be advised that some content may be disturbing for sensitive and ideological audience. I have love and respect for all humans. Please understand that I have given this blog less love than it deserves. It may reflect in some writings that I will certainly change if I had the motivation to work on the blog. Perhaps I unconsciously treat the blog the way I feel treated by life (throughout the course of reading the blog, if something seems too dark, depressing, or self-deprecating, remember that similar to life; it’s just a joke). Dull, dark, nonsense humor will be an on-going theme.

I hope to bring a sense of belonging and a feeling of being understood to you. Perhaps you will read a line and be reminded of a time you felt similarly but never expressed your feelings to anyone. Then you will know that you were not alone in feeling that way. I hope you develop mindfulness. I hope you learn to be aware your feelings as they arise, and learn to control them to your advantage. I hope your mind flexes and that you empower. My intention is bred with love. 

I doubt children will visit the blog, let alone follow it, because even adults barely ever do. On the off chance, you are a child; (i.e. less than 16 years of human experience in the more commonly known physical world in average human terms (less than 16 years old)), then please either turn away; or read with care and a gentle hand on your heart knowing, understanding and accepting that it is a wild world out there - you will be amazed to learn about all kinds of feelings you are capable of feeling one day. Please turn away as to not burden yourself unnecessarily. (I personally believe in the significance of age in relation to ‘maturity years’ {by maturity years, I mean the amount of time you have been out in the world on your own, making decisions, witnessing trauma, and still standing tall} as opposed to the number of years you have lived for} without much challenge). Also, if you are one of my younger students, then definitely turn away. This is a parental advisory. I am being responsible - something we should all be. Cheers!

Please make yourself at home. :) xo

Love, love, love,

Afaf J.


Last Edited: January 27, 2024.