Life: Excruciating. Dark. Amazing.

There have been times,

I wished nothing more than

an unending blackout.

And then there were times,

I wished time itself

couldn't move away from.

And this was life:

Excruciating. Dark. Amazing.

Fa

Is that too much to ask?

I just want you to 

bear with my craziness

my insecurities,

my inevitable habit of digging up

things until even the bones have dried out,

my occasional insanity

and unequivocal love...

Is that too much to ask?

What doesn't have bounds?

You know what doesn't have bounds?

Your sexiness. 

-Fa

Death.

Death is so strange,

yet excruciatingly simple.

And I thought there is nothing I can't get over with. 

Nothing I can't run away from. Nothing I can't win over. 

But then there was death.

Hellishly scary, inevitable death.

There's just nothing left to do once it happens.

Everything's left so plain, so blank, so empty.

And you're just there,

lying, unable to understand how universe works, 

 and in pain.

-Fa

"you're an ass, but I still love you"

Too old for

"you're an ass,

but I still love you".

Its got to be

the real thing now.

Fa

Everything is never how its supposed to be.

You should be here right now

but you're not.

But then, 

the kids on the other side

of my universe 

should be dying of hunger either.

Wives should not be beaten over

 by their husbands.

Tears shouldn't be such a waste.

Emotional abuse 

should never have been a thing. 

Innocence should never 

have gotten extinct.

Love should still be alive.

So heck,

with you being all 

sweet and present. 

Everything is never 

how its supposed to be.

Fa

Diamonds.

That was the healing.

She wasn't afraid,

or weak.

She was just endlessly 

and perfectly herself.

And yes,

it involved tears,

and blemishes and scars

and arrogance.

But she wore her 

naturalism like diamonds

and it was beautiful.

Because no one could take that from her. 

Fa

"Its all in your head."

Nothing

more

annoying

than people saying

"its all in your head".

 Fa

Worst kind of feeling.

Feeling guilty of your feelings,

that's the worst kind of feeling.

Fa

No stern voices

I wish there were no stern 

voices in the world.

I wish there were just 

creamy, rosy and jello ones.

Fa

Everything but.

 I think,

I don't like myself anymore.

And I know, I know how its

all in my head and that I 

just have to be positive and

how its all about perspective.

I know what you'd say is that

everything is fine 

and I just have to "feel" right,

but how come it feels

everything but. 

Fa

Unsaid things.

Unsaid things

just keep burning. 

Fa

You are it.

It just hurts sometimes

to know how effortlessly

you have moved on from this world

that I still live in.

And how you have made your own little universe

that I am not even a part of. 

It makes me feel so left out and alone.

And I can't even get back at you

by making a new life for myself. 

Because you are it.

You are all I have.

You are my world.

So instead, I just lay here in the dark,

and wish that I were more important. 

Fa

"Necessity".

It is more of a

"necessity" than an 

"it will be better if"

to get yourself out of the lives

of people who do not

respect your worth. 

Fa

"Smiles."

"What turns you on?" 

He asked.

A long pause, and there was 

nothing more genuine and true

about what she answered on it,

"Smiles."

She said. 

Fa

Maybe

Maybe you're only trying

to love him.

Maybe your heart belongs

to someone else. 

Fa