A relationship
of anxiety, dishonesty, misbelief, mistrust
(Love.)
and love
to be precise.
One may say,
Hayati...
It's okay to be scattered at times.
As if someone died, smiling
As free as a kite
Pas de bouree, pas de bouree and then
I remember one night when you sobbed in my arms with tears running down your face and you told me how you don't know what you're doing with your life, how you think you're not in the right place being a student at 34, and how you feel distant from your friends and family, and how you think you're losing me, and maybe that you have already lost me. I saw how torn you were and I felt helpless. When I asked what you needed, I wanted to give my life to take away your pain.
(Guilt.)
When you said you feel you have already lost me, I felt what you really meant was that I had in fact lost you. You didn't trust a word I said, even when I told you the truth. I had done the damage. It was too far gone.
(Loss.)
I did not understand what a relationship is while I was in one with you. I am ignorant like that. But now when I tell people I was in a two and a half year long relationship with someone, I feel I nipped a bud too soon.
I don't think that they'll understand
Or you
Or anyone at all
Please know how lovely you are
I look into your eyes, and I die
The pot too falls at the same time, dirt everywhere
Glass half crap, hopes, crumbling teeth in dreams, and a flicker of the last high
Scattered? Perhaps like Api says: lost
It's okay if your hair gets a taste of vomit
There is always something worse
Shots - now!
Butterfly.
