Nothing But Belief

Yet unknowingly, she had it all perplexed - A very important fact.

She was missing the line between belief and reality. He was her belief while the reality was somehow different. 

The Blind Sin

I

claim your face.

Your name. Your hands.

Your lips. Your teeth. Your

hair. Your tongue. Your body.

Your vitality. I claim your words. Your talk.

Your smile. Your eyes. Your stare. Your sight.

I claim your vision. Your senses. Your Touch. I claim Your

touch. Your clothes. Your love. I claim

your love. I claim the authority over

you. I claim your ownership.

I claim you. I claim
 you.

- Fa

My Euphoria

Oh you, the life in me
Oh you, the essence of my vitality 
Oh you, the one and only lusty rose in barrenness and desolate
Oh you, the blood in me. And, the air I breathe,

It's you. 

The voices I hear all day. All the random voices. Like horn of a car outside my home. Or the whining of the kids next door. Or the whistling of the guards all night. And the ringing of my cell phone. And, the scolds of my mother. And, the playlist I have on repeat. The smile on my cheek, for no reason. And the sorrows in my heart I bury. All the admiration and all the love I get from people. All the care I don't even regard. 

It's you. It's all you. 

Oh you, the thread that connects life and death
Oh you, the flare that keeps me going
Oh you, the absolute rivet 
The tears I shed and the honest laughter, 

I see people. And, I fall in love with you even deeper. 

Because its only you. It's only you. 

Know that you're a WINNER

Life is nothing but drag. No matter how beautiful you try making it. Its going to find ways round and around just to stab you. From the back, if your busy fighting it in the face. And, life's powerful. The world's going to be dark. And, terrifying. You might sometimes want to kill yourself and get away with all the doomness. But there's no escape even then. In fact, there is no escape at all. Then there's just a way. Its going to be like a bridge, the only mean to survive and get passed all the uncertainty, distrust and rest of the shit life gives. All your life, whatever you've been doing is trying to cross the bridge.

The hurdled, frightening bridge.

You've been conquering it since you first got on it. You've been the winner ever since. 'Cause you're living. You're a winner. If you realize this once you'd know then how much you've achieved up till this point in your life. And that is when you'd know that nothing can now stop you being a winner. You were meant to be one. The way you laughed all the way living, expresses only your divinity. Your a conqueror. Divine if you face it with a man's heart.  You were meant to cross the bridge. The petite things in life should mean nothing more than dust that comes along with the winds while your in the pursuit of living. Everything else is all shit. The main paraphernalia is to live. Your a winner if your alive. Just keep alive.

People get dispersed into the shit life gives them that they completely forget the true meaning of it. They are the most unfortunate winners. 'Cause they lack the mightiness of enjoying their own victory. They are deprived. They are the worst sufferers. 

Know, that your a winner. All your life. Know that.

Beauty

There comes a phase in life when agony seems boundless. Little by little, leisurely turning into depression, hysteria and rage. And just when you think its over, you realize it was the very beginning of another, even harder phase. Its quite rare that people understand what actually is happening to their life. No wonders, why. The agony itself is maddening.

. 

Being the sixth child

They say the youngest is always the most loved, the most cared and the most spoiled. I say they are wrong.

Spoiled? Maybe yes. But the most loved? I strongly doubt that. Being the youngest of the family myself, I'm not merely saying all this but have actually observed, seen and experienced each bit of the course.

Each one of us, who has any sort of experience of seeing the first born of the family, their self  or in their family, whatsoever knows very well what attention, love and care the first baby gets. Attention, 'cause he is the very first child experience for the parents. Love, cause that baby made a woman, a mother. A mother in whose heart lies a billion unsaid, unexpressed emotions. She savors in herself the divinity, the most strong love ever existed in this world - the love of a mother. The first child is the first person who experiences the very divine love.

Then comes the second child, for whom the attention exists, so does love. But divinity, maybe not. He might be cared, he might be loved but he lacks the enticement his parents had experienced already with the first born. He is not the child who made the parents a mother and a father. He is not the child who made the parents enter the new world of livelihood, family and responsibility. They were already there. And this is the reason why he lacks a verve. A slight one maybe, but he lacks the energy.

Up to the parents choice, there comes the 3rd, the 4th and the 5th child. When they slowly and steadily, slack the love and the attention for the new arrivers.

When for the sixth child, the energy is lost to a level that the baby might not even bring joy. Up till that time, the parents are aged and feeble. Forget the weekly outing, the sixth child is even deprived of the general, very necessary candidness between the parents and the child.

I say its better to love a child, love at its max. Even if its just one child. 

The Desire.

It was a foggy night. The quietness resembled that of a profoundly deep well. The darkness spoke of the fright. But she wasn't scared. She never was. She sat in the warmth of her bed. She was alone, like always. The only difference this time was her intense and unpretentious desire.

It was only growing for the last few days. She hadn't a clue of what was happening to her. Neither did she want to untangle the dilemma. She didn't want to solve the puzzle. The signs had stopped following her but the world tried to caution at every step. She ignored all of it. Content, she expressed only felicity. The truth was that she was relishing this transition at its peak.

Prospering inside of her, she was falling in love with the desire. 

Fool's Paradise

"I must leave him. He can't be the one. 'Us' is not a possibility... 'Us' has no future!"

But, no.

The reason was the petite world she was living in, may be. Yet, it was her world. Her little but complete world. He made it complete.

He was addictive, like alcohol. It had no end, she knew. 'Us' was just a fantasy. But she was fanatic. Her suffering was betoken.

'Leave him, glitter' 'He's a goon!' 'You're way better' claimed everyone. But it seemed impossible. She was blinded.

"With him, every single second feels like a euphoric trance."

He had the most charming personality. His gate expressed  liveliness. He took the most smooth steps. Consistent, casual and fast - she loved the way he walked. His dazzling eyes made her heart skip a beat every time. He was so typical, yet seemed to be one of a kind. His smile was more beautiful than stargazing. She felt like melting away in his mesmerizing voice. He wasn't like just another guy for her. When in reality, he was nothing more than that.

Each and every eye contact seemed to be the end of this world. She used to forget about everything else, when it came to him. She wanted to give her whole self, her soul, her love, her everything away to him, for him. She wanted to do so much for him. She wanted to love him. Only the thought of him made her crazy, she was going insane.

His name after hers.

It made her heart pound even then, even after all those years. Mocking, her friends used to tease her with this name. She loved it. Her love for him was reaching an elevation.  She knew then, and she was certain that she could never be happier in her life, ever.

Ecstatic, she shed tears in solitude.

Unpretentious Optimism

Calming down her emotions, her fanaticism and her deadly hope had always been risksome. But keeping those wild screams, laughter and the cries only inside her head was now more difficult than ever. 

The Enticing Dilemma

Suddenly, everything seemed to have a different side; the 'other side' maybe. Everything was somehow clear, like it was never before. She thought she had it all sorted out, now she wasn't sure about that. Now she gave another shot to everything. Beauty seemed to have a different definition now. She started thinking things she thought she could never imagine all her life. She was wild now. She was laughing. She was sure she was changing but uncertain if it was the right direction. She knew nature was up to something. She understood the signs. Just the suspense of that something was so exciting that she relished every bit of it.

It was like an enticing dilemma.