Blood. Paper. Pen. (4)

Dearly beloved, 

You see, you might have moved on but I am still there. 
I am still standing under the naked sky. I am still a little nervous to see you. 
I can still hear my heart beating. I am still craving for your luscious voice.
 I am still admiring your ways and eyes and moves
 and hair and clothes and body and voice and you. 
 I am still 13 years old. I am still stupid and emotional 
and crazy and adventurous. But you have moved on as life told us where to move to.
 I haven't. You have obeyed and I have suffered. 
And now I am out of spaces to cut above my ankle. 
And the blood seems to be betraying me. I need you to see. I wish you saw.
I wish you were here. I wish I could touch you and you wanted to touch me.
 But it's my life so who am I kidding? 
My shrink told me not to mention my bloody habit to you anymore.
 He's so stupid because he still can't see what I had seen
 so long before: I don't obey. Not life and certainly not anyone else. 
Anyways. I hope you have nieces and nephews by now. 
Beauty runs in your family. So, take care you. 

Eternally and withering yours, 

Fa


Blood. Paper. Pen. (1)
http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2014/09/blood-paper-pen.html

Blood. Paper. Pen. (2)
http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2015/01/blood-paper-pen-2.html

Blood. Paper. Pen. (3)
http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2015/04/blood-paper-pen-3.html