Blood. Paper. Pen. (2)

Dearly beloved,

Let me ask you a question today.
 Is it universe trying trying to hold us together or there's some other
mystic alchemy between us? Because if it is the universe, she has quite an odd way. 
(Not that I am not befittingly thankful for being with you like that)
I mean, we are always together. I see you. I feel you all the time. 
I think about you even in my sleep. I dream about you - 
But that's only because I am with you all day, right? Its not reality.
 But then, I'm not sure if you see me. Or feel me. Or dream about me. Its been two years, after all. 
You don't know how my voice sounds like today. You don't know how I look like now. 
You don't know that my best friend isn't Sarah anymore. 
But the only familiar faces they let me see are that of my crazy shrink and mom.
Though, its not sad at all that you don't know if I am still yours because 
what you don't see is what I see all the time. We are meant to be until
there is a last drop of blood left in my body. And its not happening soon, trust me I know.
There is a lot of it. And so  the universe gets tricky. It is her odd way.
Anyway, not from my body, but that's the last drop from my pot today.
So before they see and sedate me again, know that I still am yours. 
My voice is a bit hoarse but quite the same. Sarah was a cheater. 

And I have become skinnier. 

But above all, I love you more than ever.

Eternally and witheringly yours,
-Fa

Blood. Paper. Pen. (1)
http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2014/09/blood-paper-pen.html

Blood. Paper. Pen. (3) 
http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2015/04/blood-paper-pen-3.html

Blood. Paper. Pen. (4)
http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2015/08/blood-paper-pen-4.html