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Monday 25 August 2014

Sakeena (Episode three)

Sakeena (Episode three)

Where she had entered looked no less than a normal cafeteria area. She took a sigh of relief and looked for a proper sitting. She cleaned her sweat and took another moment of respite. It didn’t take more than one minute for her to realize that she was surrounded by men, and only men. There wasn’t a single girl in the café. It was weird. But fine. It was the morning time and obviously boys bunked more often than girls. She was sitting on the middle round table in the café surrounded by more tables, benches and stole chairs right behind her. Filled with boys of all age groups mostly among 20s to 30s. She looked at her cell phone. Disappointed, as it were of no use. The battery had run out the minute her friends and she had left the college. Her friend had offered her a spare cellphone. “Its okay. Why would need to call anyone?” and she had refused.

She regretted more than anything in the world.

She called the waiter to bring her some water. She noticed something different about him the moment she entered the café but had ignored obviously because she had other more frightening fears on her mind. The waiter brought the water. The moment he handed over the water to her. She knew it. She went pale, goose bumped and shivering. She wanted to say “thank you” but only blubbering came out of her mouth. He stood up and the waiter’s breasts were now clearly visible. He was a homosexual. The guys around her were homosexual. The man with the purple shirt in the corridor was homosexual. It was an underground gay bar of the town that she was standing in at the moment. She turned round to look for an exit but found nothing. As she stood with an unexpected haste, she had now gained the attention of all the men. Everyone noticed she was misplaced. Some started to laugh, some completely ignored her behavior while one guy from behind the counter rushed towards the girl. She got back where she collided with someone. The guy was sitting on a bench and apparently she had disturbed a passionate moment of him and his boyfriend. The man gave her an irritated groan and carried on.

She felt disgusted and wanted to run away. Hastily moving away from them, she now moved forward and the guy rushing towards her had now reached Sakeena.

“Is there a problem miss? I believe you are misguided here” The boy’s gesture showed that he was a literate. Perhaps the only literate person in the café. She hurriedly told the whole story and told him to get her out of there ASAP. “Relax… I will help you. You need not worry at all. The café you entered to was a banned sheesha café that led its roots to this one. I’ll let you make a call and get you out of here”

She felt perplexed. “Should I be relieved?” She thought to herself “Or is this a part of the game that I am a puppet of?”

“This isn’t me. I don’t bunk College. I don’t smoke. I don’t lie to my parents about where I am going with friends. I am not a playgirl. Who is this inside of me that led me to all this? And here I am, standing in the middle of a gay bar, lost and all alone. I am not supposed to be here. I am supposed to be in my home, where there were no worries. It was safest place on earth. Loving brothers, my parent and the perfect lifestyle. I feel like pitying on myself t have chosen this battle of distrust and the dilemma of having to trust these people or not. What would mamma feel if she knew I was here? She’s be worried to death. Pappa would do anything to get me to a safe place first. I am killer. A killer of my own peace, indeed.”


She had nothing to say to the boy questioning to him. Nodding, she only followed his lead.

  
Sakeena - Episode one:  http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2014/07/sakeena.html
Sakeena - Episode two: http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2014/08/sakeena.html

Tuesday 19 August 2014

Paper cutter


"Do it"

She whispered to herself. 
As she held the paper cutter to her left wrist. 
Numb, barefoot and bloody. 

"You will get through the black cloud. 
You will heal" She remembered him say
 and screamed her lungs out. 

"I can't!"

- Fa

Monday 18 August 2014

No, not anymore.



She didn't want to become all happy and fun.
No, not anymore.
The belief in smiling for no reason was lost. 
All she wanted now was to make peace
 with the salient wretchedness
 and her mocking reality.

- Fa

Brutality of love



The brutality of love was now crystal clear.
 It was either the the endless spilling of blood
 or the sweet scent of a bed of roses.

Latter, she had known, former she now yielded. 
The scars on her skin was the only make up she wore.
 Blood, her attire. While them 
silent screams, the hostile comrades.

- Fa

Wednesday 13 August 2014

Tortured soul


None of the pills worked for her 
while the doctors were out of answers
Thou, to herself she stayed silent
for she knew the truth from her inside
It wasn't the body, neither its poor immunity,
but the tortured soul that lay within
and the sadness in her heart, coving cut.

- Fa

Tuesday 12 August 2014

Sakeena (Episode two)

Part two

Sakeena's eyes were jet black in color, just like her hair. They were big and very bold which after her birthday, turned into the saddest of eyes. She gave more time to her family and tried her best to never be alone so the daunting memories wouldn't haunt again. She hummed while she was alone while silence was frightening.

She was sitting with her brothers, when suddenly the thought occurred to her again. Haunting her.  Teasing her. Mocking her very soul. She wanted to run away from it. Forget the whole incident, but failed. Every time, she felt helpless against her conscience. 

The middle aged man staring at her, perverted and alone in the corridor, wore a glittering purple shirt with loose baggy jeans. Even the thought of the sight brought Goosebumps. There were a million things that could have happened to her. He could have done anything to her. Anything he wanted. Anything to satisfy his desires; touched her, abducted her for life, or worse raped her. She had heard stories about teenage girls when she was little – “there are kidnappers all around the city, waiting for helpless girls to walk past their ways” “Girls disappeared mysteriously were brought to brothels and enforced to spend a lifetime satisfying their customers – worshiping the pimps” Everything she had heard flashbacked before her eyes and ears. 

She hadn’t known such fear, she had known that day.  

The other man in his 50s brought even more dread. He looked like a pimp, without any second thought. The perverted smile on his face had brought chills down to her spirits.

Her tears started to shed again. 

It was her and the man alone in the corridor. The memory brought shivers and she started to sweat bullets. She was 17 and he was in his 50s. Using power would have been useless. So, she had to keep wise. His bulky body was reaching towards her and she had move towards the only exit that he had entered from. In other words, both were approaching each other. She had no other option, it was a one-way corridor and she had to get out of it through the exit door.She couldn’t run or the man would definitely interrelate even if he wasn’t going to. She couldn’t reveal fear on her face or the man would feel powerful against the little object. She had to act normal. And thus she walked her way through it. Steadily and at her best not to let drop the slightest of fear in her expressions. Though unknowingly her sweat had wet her whole shirt and the man had noticed the anxiety on the face of the perplexed teenage girl out on an adventure with her new boyfriend or her girl friends, the thought had brought a cheeky smile on his face and so he relished the moment. Absolutely flouting the moment of walking past the man, Sakeena felt abnormally anxious and her steps started move even fast. In a few minutes she had reached the door when unwillingly she looked back at the man if he was still watching. He was. She regretted the moment she turned around and hastily ran out of the door. 

Sakeena: Episode one http://fajanjua.blogspot.com/2014/07/sakeena.html

Saturday 9 August 2014

Not just yet


Don't tell me you love me, 
not just yet. 

I have been acquainted to the euphoria and the very brutality it brings along
yet you deserve just another tremor 
from the soul that suffered dejection, woe and
 the stinging pain of redemption 
put the shadow off my dark secrets and seek the reality
behind my scars, tell me then 

tell if you love me, thou
not just yet.

- Fa