Peace and rose petals

I couldn't be doing any better

And I never knew this would be my life one day

My emotional state is a mess, 

Like always

Shall I say

The love inside of me keeps getting bigger, I wonder does it even have an end?

I don't want to hurt anyone, I know, I just don't

I believe in peace and rose petals

My mind is devoid of hatred 

And I am open to have my heart broken again

Raj says, its stupid to beleive it but I wish you all the best

They don't know how over the clouds and mountains and angels of life and death

I see myself at

So do you wonder?

If I am insane anymore?

It's temporary, this life

Carrying an amputated head in one hand, and a bag of roses in the other 

Its for you to decide 

To be judgemental and hold the despise

Or to make friends with everyone in the world

Open to the possibility,

And the unlimited positive energies,

Waiting outside your door, 

Knocking politely,

A little hospitality will do, 

Open you eyes, or don't

It doesn't even matter,

Just open your heart

And love

Everything you see

And Everything you don't 

Past. Present. Future.

                        

Loyalty is sexy, 
She has stuck by me all my life

And nothing felt better than my time with her

It was all so beautiful

We saw dreams together, 

Or at least I did

And so it is, 

I'm forcing life on myself

I am forcing a false belief

I am incomparably happy with my decision 

Then why is it, that I felt so bad that day?

Infatuation shouldn't come in bits and pieces

My twisted emotions need to get their shit together

It confuses me like time

It's scary like blood

Bewitched with demonic love

It can break you and make you, 

Both at once

Reality is nothing, so isn't love

Put you head in my lap now,

Hand me the machete

Sleep sweet child, 

Everything's fine,

Its all going be over now

Fighter

I know

I know who you think I am

I know you think that I'm this arrogant person who gets away with things the wrong way

You think I have liberated myself from the world and its boundaries and norms, 

But you underestimate the power of ideas you put inside my head when I was just a child, 

Today I am scared when I do the grocery shopping myself

I am scared of the taxi driver who drove me home today

I question my judgements, and I consider myself arrogant

I have a part of you inside of me, and I don't think you see that

I think you just see the part of myself that's battling everyday to find my reality

I think it scares you, 'cause this is not something that you're used to

But let me assure you, and if it gives you any comfort, I am scared inside

And while I know what I do not want, I am also not sure of what I want

So there you go, 

Take pleasure in that, 

You did a good job, 

I am not that confident, after all 

But there is a but even after that

I swear to god, I will never give up

Broken heart, damaged body and demons and a shattered belief; it didn't even touch my fervour

The rush in my blood is too heated, 

It stops me from letting in 

As long as this mutilated heart will beat, 

And as long my twisted brain will speak,

I will not surrender, 

I will not surrender. 

French fries and guilt

It's an average Saturday morning,

I'm having fries for breakfast

I think I need this break once in a week at least, okay?

I have tears in my eyes this morning though, 

unlike any other day, 

She says this break is okay too

I heard knocking from my top bunk bed last night

It was something extremely ugly

I could see it in between the rail

It was staring right at me

My reflex was to scream at once

With those questioning eyes it stopped me, but

I could tell that she was worried

Something has bothered her a little too much

So I kept laying there,

Still and untouched

I could feel the fear in her eyes too

There was something she wanted to convey to me

"I am the guilt", she opened up finally

I could see her dark soul through her throat

She was all bones from the inside and out

I could tell that she had been deprived

I opened my mouth to say that its alright, come next to me, you can sleep here tonight

Though as it was it shocked me to my core

The words I spoke were coming out of her throat

She spoke as I spoke to her

Same words, 

Same voice, 

So I looked close, and I wasn't surprised anymore, 

It made sense now, 

She was even wearing the same clothes

I don't blame myself, 

I swear to god, I don't

If anything I should've given myself a little more love

But the deed is done now, 

The sheets are bloody

The wrists have been emptied now

So lets just sit together,

And instead of whining about the past

Lets look at future

Plan our shit

And finish our fries

Perfect.

Look at her 

All shiny and perfect

She thinks she is everything, doesn't she

Well, probably she is. 

Look, I know

fear of uncertainty is the fear of wait

The fear of wait, well do you really think it's worth all the pain?

Staples on your heart and pain in your knees

It's only the beginning

Look where she could take you

Just open your eyes and see

The world that you have been living in is a door away from madness

the signs of love and success might fool you

go with your intuition, that's the only one true to you

She tells me slitting your wrists is not an option, 

She sees this strange power on me somehow, 

She tells me I can do it, every time

She says she's never disappointed at all

And I swear to god, she amazes me: she is undeniably and most assuredly beautiful

Also, can I tell you a secret? I think she's the only one who's real.

Anything you want

Nothing wrong feeling the way you feel

Nothing wrong with crying out loud

Nothing wrong with wearing a yellow santa suit

Nothing wrong with carrying a child at 19

Nothing wrong with wanting to be a father at 60

Nothing wrong with living the quantum dynamics

Nothing wrong with worship at all

Nothing wrong with therapeutic laughter

Nothing wrong with a love for the wolves

Nothing wrong with eating chocolates

Nothing wrong with walking upside down

Nothing wrong with her sense of style, there's nothing wrong with her at all

Nothing wrong with your too tight pants

Nothing wrong with her baggy top

Nothing wrong with the way she speaks

Nothing wrong with a streamlined life

Nothing wrong with the water,

the fire,

this trip,

The air

Nothing wrong with what you believe in

Nothing wrong with wanting sex four times a day

Nothing wrong with wanting anything at all

Go and get her

Exquisite beauty is what she has

The love of laughter and joy in belief

I am not walking on the road to my dream, you see

I swear to god, I am here already 

Its been a long time finding her

It's been long time trying

Now I dont see the point in what they call the reality, 

I dont see the point in the right and the wrong, the blasphemy and ivory thrones

I don't see how it makes him a better person, when all he has the whole wide world

I don't see the sparks of love,

Butterflies, 

warm fuzzy hugs,

the rejoice in my heart, 

I don't see myself crying in the name of another wanderer

It was someone else who died that night

I see myself instead

I see her smiling back at me now

She knows I am there

She insists, 

See the fire that burns inside of your body

The way it stretches, and the way she leads her

She insists me even more now: Don't be afraid, 

You have found her, now go and get her

---

Inspiration and last line courtesy: hey jude, the beatles