Fear of the unknown

I lay on a bed of words so harsh

I lay here scared, but arrogant

I have only one thing in my head 

There is no emptiness in my life

There is just so much

Reverse depression is one of those things, 

I think I enjoy it now

Anhedonia is old news, I have discovered unseen lands of darkness 

Am I willing to give up rose,

glitter,

white chocolate,

and plum?

I guess I am, 

This is unspeakably vulgar what we are talking about

So speak out angels of truth,

I hope you are with me now

The wrath of this world should be enough, 

Tell the God I don't want to die alone now, 

I have only one thing in my head

I have only one thing in my head

Fa

Rebel's journal

Forced religion

Forced respect

Forced love

Forced marriage

Forced rituals

Forced education

Forced prayers

Forced fasting

Forced employment

Forced unemployment

Forced laughter

Forced conversations

Forced pretentiousness

Forced unpretentiousness

Forced relationships

Forced enforcement

Forced pleasure

Forced devotion

Is it just me who sees that?

Is it only me who's lost?

I don't see the point in all of this

I don't see anything at all

Does it make me a sinner for thinking this way? 

Does it make me a disbeliever? 

Does it make me a blasphemous?

Do I deserve this shame?

For feeling the way I feel

Me education's betrayal 

My hopeless ways

I don't want to be a sinner

I never wanted a forced raise

Bring me back or leave me unafraid

I wish I could say this to your face

Fa