I promise I will learn from my mistakes.

 He is kind and sweet, 

He gives me love

And I give him 

Everything,

I never gave you

And when he sees things

The way you did, I wish

I did not do you wrong

Afaf J.

December 25, 2023

Five Parts Blog - December 25, 2023

This blogs comes to you in five parts: 

1. The joy in the air

2. Does joy come from where we live? 

3. DISC profile Assessment, I recommend 

4. Another dream

5. The part where I tell you you're awesome

Part one: The joy in the air

Almost every patient I checked out today told me they will be with their family over the holidays when I asked them their plans for the holidays. I asked everyone. I checked out around 72 patients today. It's amazing to see how people in most cultures celebrate public festivals with their families. I can feel a similar joy in the air as I felt around Eid Holidays when I lived in Lahore. It's beautiful and inspiring. Family is one of the richest assets in life for us.  

Part two: Does joy come from where we live? 

I live in Ottawa now. I love being here. Perhaps words cannot describe the gratitude I feel. Perhaps I would feel the gratitude wherever I live with the education and wisdom I have gained over time. I live in Canada without family and perhaps I could have continued living in Pakistan and still would have felt this gratitude. I was certain for a few years of my life that I 'need' to leave Pakistan to feel accomplished. I am not sure about this anymore. Perhaps, perhaps only - because I like to believe that the only reality is this. It is now. It is nothing else. It is nowhere else. It can never be anything other than what is. 

Regret and guilt are unnecessary emotions because everything that has happened could not have happened any other way given the external circumstances we grow up with, our genetics, evolution, life, astronomy, the pop that began the universe, life or whatever it is that came first, and our mind; hence, it happened the way it did. The only way it has happened. The only way it could happen. 

Part three: DISC profile Assessment, I recommend

Admittedly, I miss family, my sisters who are with their children, my nieces and nephews, and our parents in Pakistan right now. I have immense love for them. I will do anything for them. Although, this would be a good time to remember that my DISC profile analysis did suggest that I tend to over-promise. I sadly agree that it has been true at times in the past. Since I did the assessment, I have been more careful about my promises. My promise to self to never lie again (since I read Sam Harris's book "Lying") definitely helps keep myself in check. By the way the disc assessment is awesome. You can do it too, just look it up. 

Part four: Another dream 

Everyone at work did their DISC profile analysis before the Tony Robins Results Coaching event. My, my - was that my favourite experience in a while! Yes, it was. One day, (now I am fantasizing) when I will become an international traveling coach publicly speaking with hundreds of people regularly, I will tell the people that I saw my life - I saw its goods and its bads, and I asked myself: how can I improve it? The answer was simple: I had to leave Pakistan. 

It is almost 2024, I am a dual citizen of Canada and Pakistan, and I live my dream life each day and every moment. 

P.S. If while reading, you imagined yourself living your dream life, cheers to you! Cheers for being able to accept the reality that whatever you want oh-so-bad is in-fact absolutely and determinably possible and doable. Cheers to you for imagining that even if it hasn't become reality yet. 

Part five: The part where I tell you you're awesome

You are awesome. 

With love, 

Afaf J. 

December 18, 2023

Draft 2, January 27, 2024