Autumn winds

As the autumn winds

bring clouds to the light blue sky, I feel the beat

of the summer memories

still locked inside me.

I can almost feel the Elysian fields under my feet,

and the pure bliss that used to fill up my heart

with joy so strong it brought me tears.

My heart longs for it, the unreachable idleness

of paradise I once took for granted.

Helena Lillian

Unending end

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

Close your eyes. Sigh. 

Its not the end. You are alive. 

But am I, really? 

The sounds, this scent, 

what does it all say?  

The screams inside my head

 are trying to kill me, I think. 

The darkness that hovered

 has turned painfully white now. 

Its not confusion, I can tell you that. 

No waiting, 

nothing to look forward to. 

Nothing to believe in, 

nothing to be longing for. 

However still, my eyes betray me shamelessly. 

My heart keeps on dying, 

slowly, painfully. 

Makes me wonder how much mutilation it can take.

I have nothing to say to him. 

Nothing to expect. 

So I keep on dying little by little, 

I keep on talking to myself.

I keep telling myself lies, 

its all going to be alright.

 I can feel the fate smirking at me

 with tilted eyes. 

I can feel myself falling deep

 into its darkened pit. 

I can't feel my body, 

but just the ache. 

I can't really call it a life. 

It is the ending. 

I guess, yes. 

This is the unending end. 

Fa

Our brief estrangement

Our long relation ship ensured

that I will eventually

offer shelter to pain

even after our brief estrangement

much as the benevolent lady

down the street

who offered her home

to her dead husband's concubine.

Disha Dasagarwal

Regurgitated lore (II)

When death strikes at your sanity, intense verbal calamity, it wants to show you the meaning of profanity. The way to eternal youth is to sunder death with humor and evade his scythe like a tumor. How do you evade a tumor? The same way you evade a rumor.

Steven Rasmussen

Regurgitated lore (I)

Diplomacy is unheard of for me.

I will vomit words into peoples ear drums before

they can think or run,

from dangerous puns,

or regurgitated lore,

of the metaphysical door

I must explore.

Slip through it and feel

your spirit soar,

yet only

after fighting on death's floor.

Steven Rasmussen

Strength

My strength was born 

from the ashes of weakness,

I could never overcome.

Alycia Williams

Self-Sufficient

Being solo is wonderful,

you define it to yourself

that its always okay to be dependent on your own.

It makes you self sufficient,

to walk your own path,

to do what you want.

Krati Pandey

Utopia

I might be emotionally imbalanced

and a total wreck at feelings, but

I have roped off a place in my heart where there is nothing

but you;

standing one step ahead,

holding my hand,

leading me,

and over there my sweet,

I see smile on our faces,

I see utopia.

Fa

Her tears

Her tears are who you are, 

Fa

Perfectly comfortable.

Because yes, all I really do have are words. 

My talent is words. 

My life and best friends are words.

I find solace in them. 

I find peace here somewhere in between the punctuation.

And this might be the most 

immature and unimportant 

stuff you ever heard, 

but that's me. 

And I find myself perfectly 

comfortable being this way. 

Fa

The right man

If you can't find time to tell her how much she means to you

or how beautiful she is to you or simply that you love her

at least once a day.

sorry guys, but you're failing at being the right man. 

Fa

Right on track

Get back on track. Be yourself again.

Be yourself again. The minute you decide to 

adapt and change for the sake of society and norms, 

that's the moment you encage a beautiful human being.

Don't do that to yourself... get back on track. 

Fa

Its not you.

True love doesn;t need tough tries.

It doesn't need coerced IloveYous and

needy conversations. 

Don't feel bad, its not you.  

If its not feeling right, 

always remember, 

its not you. 

Fa

Life: Excruciating. Dark. Amazing.

There have been times,

I wished nothing more than

an unending blackout.

And then there were times,

I wished time itself

couldn't move away from.

And this was life:

Excruciating. Dark. Amazing.

Fa

Is that too much to ask?

I just want you to 

bear with my craziness

my insecurities,

my inevitable habit of digging up

things until even the bones have dried out,

my occasional insanity

and unequivocal love...

Is that too much to ask?

What doesn't have bounds?

You know what doesn't have bounds?

Your sexiness. 

-Fa

Death.

Death is so strange,

yet excruciatingly simple.

And I thought there is nothing I can't get over with. 

Nothing I can't run away from. Nothing I can't win over. 

But then there was death.

Hellishly scary, inevitable death.

There's just nothing left to do once it happens.

Everything's left so plain, so blank, so empty.

And you're just there,

lying, unable to understand how universe works, 

 and in pain.

-Fa

"you're an ass, but I still love you"

Too old for

"you're an ass,

but I still love you".

Its got to be

the real thing now.

Fa

Everything is never how its supposed to be.

You should be here right now

but you're not.

But then, 

the kids on the other side

of my universe 

should be dying of hunger either.

Wives should not be beaten over

 by their husbands.

Tears shouldn't be such a waste.

Emotional abuse 

should never have been a thing. 

Innocence should never 

have gotten extinct.

Love should still be alive.

So heck,

with you being all 

sweet and present. 

Everything is never 

how its supposed to be.

Fa

Diamonds.

That was the healing.

She wasn't afraid,

or weak.

She was just endlessly 

and perfectly herself.

And yes,

it involved tears,

and blemishes and scars

and arrogance.

But she wore her 

naturalism like diamonds

and it was beautiful.

Because no one could take that from her. 

Fa

"Its all in your head."

Nothing

more

annoying

than people saying

"its all in your head".

 Fa

Worst kind of feeling.

Feeling guilty of your feelings,

that's the worst kind of feeling.

Fa

No stern voices

I wish there were no stern 

voices in the world.

I wish there were just 

creamy, rosy and jello ones.

Fa

Everything but.

 I think,

I don't like myself anymore.

And I know, I know how its

all in my head and that I 

just have to be positive and

how its all about perspective.

I know what you'd say is that

everything is fine 

and I just have to "feel" right,

but how come it feels

everything but. 

Fa

Unsaid things.

Unsaid things

just keep burning. 

Fa

You are it.

It just hurts sometimes

to know how effortlessly

you have moved on from this world

that I still live in.

And how you have made your own little universe

that I am not even a part of. 

It makes me feel so left out and alone.

And I can't even get back at you

by making a new life for myself. 

Because you are it.

You are all I have.

You are my world.

So instead, I just lay here in the dark,

and wish that I were more important. 

Fa

"Necessity".

It is more of a

"necessity" than an 

"it will be better if"

to get yourself out of the lives

of people who do not

respect your worth. 

Fa

"Smiles."

"What turns you on?" 

He asked.

A long pause, and there was 

nothing more genuine and true

about what she answered on it,

"Smiles."

She said. 

Fa

Maybe

Maybe you're only trying

to love him.

Maybe your heart belongs

to someone else. 

Fa

The power of words.

You can make sense out of anything,

if you explain it well. 

Fa

Avalanches and volcano eruptions.

Being an emotional person doesn't come easy. 

It comes in avalanches and volcano eruptions.

Its destructive.

 And fiery.

 Too beautiful too seldom and

 too painful too often. Its an ache.

Fa

Kindness.

Arrogance and ego won't make you special.

Kindness will. 

-Fa

Insecurities

I push you away, when I need you the most. 

My ego and insecurities

are trying to kill me, I think. 

These distances are mean. 

-Fa

Perfect security!

Perfect security 

and contentment is when I feel like the words

 that came out of my mouth were delivered exactly

 the way I felt them. When I know that they understand

 each an every feeling behind it exactly the way 

it was meant to be understood.

Fa

Masculine innocence

You say you don't know how you feel. 

And honestly it makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. 

But I think I know you still. 

This masculine innocence is worth dying for.

Fa

Love and life.

and love can be shattering,

it can be destructive. 

Just like life.

-Fa

Immensely. Painstakingly. Madly.

I want to fall in love. 

Immensely. Painstakingly. Madly.

I want to feel what it feels like

to have nothing in the world, or the universe, 

or within myself, matter the least when he comes into question.

I want to feel like that stupid girl texting all the time.

I want to be the girl with swollen, red and sparkling eyes

because she was on the phone all night. 

I want to pour my heart and lungs and life

and happiness and joy and laughter and sorrows

 and cried and insecurities

 out to someone

and not feel even a little bit uncomfortable.

I want all of that. 

-Fa

Alone

I am more alone than anyone I've met. 

Don't mix my laughter with real joy. 

The love in me is infinite, yes. 

The love for me however is 

almost non-existent.

-Fa

A pray to God

"A pray to God"

Write once again, because you can. 

Write him for me. 

Make me his. And make him mine. 

Make him mine. 

Make him mine. 

-Fa

Whole.

Here is the thing.

I don't care, about life.

I have had enough heartbreak

for such a short lifetime. Don't try to protect me. 

All I want is friendship now.

All I want is love. All I care about now is just that. 

I am not broken. I am made up of scars and losses; huge losses,

depression, exoticism and romance.

I am whole.

Trust me in that. 

-Fa

So painful and so secure

I am not who I used to be. 

And it feels

so painful

and 

so secure

to know that. 

-Fa