Unaltered

 For all the times

You were in the driving seat

And were my husband

For all the times

You were lying next to me

And were my lover

For all the times

You were cute and funny and adorable

And were my best friend

A guardian

Lovebird,

A fanatic, fearless, companion

I thank you.

For all the times

You were silent

When I poured my heart out

For all the times

You misunderstood me

When I shared myself inside out

For all the times

I felt scared

When you turned your back on me

In despise,

Unfathomable

nauseating, unspeakable plight

I was such a shame.

I am sorry.

And I thank you.

I love you

And I want to stay away from you

You beautiful, hurtful,

Unaltered disguise.

Fa 

January

 What will January bring?

What will your heart decide?

So many hopes

So much longing

For a daughter

For a fiancè

For a brother

For an innocent and lovely unborn child

For a crime-stricken unborn mother

Unveiled

And undressed

Shamed - isolated and guilt-ridden

For a marriage

Long awaited

For mad love - almost forgotten

What will January bring?

A pregnant belly

With an unborn child

And an unbutchered fetus

A clot that is welcomed

To grow

And be fed

In nausea

And nutrition

With Vitamins without fear

A boy

A girl

Someone wanted

Someone loved

And cared for

Not to be be pushed out

too soon

Out of fear

Out of uncertainty

Unmurdered

None of that

Maybe January will be kind

Fa

Criminal

An uncommitted crime

An unconventional kill - out of uncertainty

Has left me drained

Has left me dead

Has left me dry

To rot

On earth

In hell

Do I believe anymore?

To exist

To try

To love

To fight?

An uncommitted crime.

An uncommitted crime?

Weighs too heavy this time

Weighs too heavy this time. 

Fa

Marshmallow

I love you comes so naturally

predestined fate

For it comes from the

same soul

Same roots

Same language

Same thread

Softly, gently, carefully

towards my

loving caring marshmallow

soul mate

Like magnets,

Madness and guilt

A pillow and its case

Blanket in its warmth

A brother and three years younger sister

The black and the white

Blood and pen

A picture and its frame

Your mother and your dad

Door to the escape;

never apart again

Never apart again

Never apart again

Fa