French fries and guilt

It's an average Saturday morning,

I'm having fries for breakfast

I think I need this break once in a week at least, okay?

I have tears in my eyes this morning though, 

unlike any other day, 

She says this break is okay too

I heard knocking from my top bunk bed last night

It was something extremely ugly

I could see it in between the rail

It was staring right at me

My reflex was to scream at once

With those questioning eyes it stopped me, but

I could tell that she was worried

Something has bothered her a little too much

So I kept laying there,

Still and untouched

I could feel the fear in her eyes too

There was something she wanted to convey to me

"I am the guilt", she opened up finally

I could see her dark soul through her throat

She was all bones from the inside and out

I could tell that she had been deprived

I opened my mouth to say that its alright, come next to me, you can sleep here tonight

Though as it was it shocked me to my core

The words I spoke were coming out of her throat

She spoke as I spoke to her

Same words, 

Same voice, 

So I looked close, and I wasn't surprised anymore, 

It made sense now, 

She was even wearing the same clothes

I don't blame myself, 

I swear to god, I don't

If anything I should've given myself a little more love

But the deed is done now, 

The sheets are bloody

The wrists have been emptied now

So lets just sit together,

And instead of whining about the past

Lets look at future

Plan our shit

And finish our fries

Perfect.

Look at her 

All shiny and perfect

She thinks she is everything, doesn't she

Well, probably she is. 

Look, I know

fear of uncertainty is the fear of wait

The fear of wait, well do you really think it's worth all the pain?

Staples on your heart and pain in your knees

It's only the beginning

Look where she could take you

Just open your eyes and see

The world that you have been living in is a door away from madness

the signs of love and success might fool you

go with your intuition, that's the only one true to you

She tells me slitting your wrists is not an option, 

She sees this strange power on me somehow, 

She tells me I can do it, every time

She says she's never disappointed at all

And I swear to god, she amazes me: she is undeniably and most assuredly beautiful

Also, can I tell you a secret? I think she's the only one who's real.

Anything you want

Nothing wrong feeling the way you feel

Nothing wrong with crying out loud

Nothing wrong with wearing a yellow santa suit

Nothing wrong with carrying a child at 19

Nothing wrong with wanting to be a father at 60

Nothing wrong with living the quantum dynamics

Nothing wrong with worship at all

Nothing wrong with therapeutic laughter

Nothing wrong with a love for the wolves

Nothing wrong with eating chocolates

Nothing wrong with walking upside down

Nothing wrong with her sense of style, there's nothing wrong with her at all

Nothing wrong with your too tight pants

Nothing wrong with her baggy top

Nothing wrong with the way she speaks

Nothing wrong with a streamlined life

Nothing wrong with the water,

the fire,

this trip,

The air

Nothing wrong with what you believe in

Nothing wrong with wanting sex four times a day

Nothing wrong with wanting anything at all

Go and get her

Exquisite beauty is what she has

The love of laughter and joy in belief

I am not walking on the road to my dream, you see

I swear to god, I am here already 

Its been a long time finding her

It's been long time trying

Now I dont see the point in what they call the reality, 

I dont see the point in the right and the wrong, the blasphemy and ivory thrones

I don't see how it makes him a better person, when all he has the whole wide world

I don't see the sparks of love,

Butterflies, 

warm fuzzy hugs,

the rejoice in my heart, 

I don't see myself crying in the name of another wanderer

It was someone else who died that night

I see myself instead

I see her smiling back at me now

She knows I am there

She insists, 

See the fire that burns inside of your body

The way it stretches, and the way she leads her

She insists me even more now: Don't be afraid, 

You have found her, now go and get her

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Inspiration and last line courtesy: hey jude, the beatles