The unspoken promises of a writer

You can't just be "not a writer"

anymore, sweetheart.

You breathe poetry.

You devour words, they rush in your veins. 

You're the unspoken promises of a writer, a romantic.

You are literature yourself. 

You can't just thrash it all away

in the name of  realness and altruism. 

You are much more. 

-Fa

I want God.

I don't want peace. 

I don't want laughter. 

I want love. I want God.

I want thunder and lightening. 

I want scars from wounds that talk of 

horrors and fright. 

I don't want existence. 

I want life. 

-Fa

Mother.

You are your mother. 

And if you're not,

you've been your mother once. 

And if you haven't been,

you will be your mother one day. 

-Fa

Finding myself. (2)

It's hard,

don't you understand?

How can I possess you 

with something that 

I haven't even found?

For you to be mine,

I have to be mine first.

Only then, 

can you be truly mine.

And I, completely yours. 

You'll be me then.
I'll be you. 

And oh, 

what a beautiful thing to be. 

-Fa

Not even metaphorical.

I'm in love with you,

with all my heart

and the ache probing through it. 

I'm in love with you,

with all my fears and tragedies. 

and scars and fortunes.

With all my soul

and stars

and jinxes

and spirit,

I'm in love with you. 

And it's not even metaphorical. 

-Fa

Whole.

I have seen what you haven't seen yourself. 
You are not bits and pieces. 
You are whole. 

-Fa

I find you poetic.

I find your scars luminary. 

I find you poetic. 

Your taste is ethereal,

 like sadness. 

On top of that, you're kind. 

You can't scare me off, sweetheart, 

and it is time you accept that. 

-Fa

Miss you more.

I think I miss you more now. 

More than yesterday,

more than the day you left,

more than the day after that, 

more than all the days after that.

More than I've missed you all my life. 

I don't know,

maybe its just a feeling. 

But you know, 

its a really sad one.

-Fa

Numb.

My soul feels numb

without your warm words. 

Don't ever leave me. 

-Fa

Scrap and litter.

You can never comprehend the labor it took

to salvage all the

 scrap and litter 

from my mutilated heart.

Only to fall in love with you 

Each day

And each day more. 

-Fa

Matter of fact.

Loving me should be a matter of fact. 

Infatuation doesn't count. 

Don't mix your perspective with lies. 

-Fa