The thought of you

I avoid the thought of you. 

And, it is the toughest thing in the world. 

Because you dive into the most vulnerable parts of myself 

and come to me then. Like, when I wake up 

randomly in the middle of the night or when I'm tired. 

And when I'm sick. And when it feels like the end of the world.

Or when its just a sad day. 

Only the glimpse of your sight inside my head,

the way you would have taken care of me and the air

with you not in it, then - is an unbearable torment. 

And so, I avoid the thought of you. 

At least, I wish I could. 

-Fa