Life 28

Literally the reason I don't pop this drug in my mouth right now is because I am carrying the umbrella with one hand

In a pouring pain; fear and confusion

While my other hand

Sits comfortably with the magic sac in the pocket of my rain jacket

Intentionally oblivious to the chants of dread, morality, decision, perseverance, death, and death again: life

What a mystery; isn't it?

You noticed it; didn't you?

My accent, of course.

The color of my skin was almost sunken in

And then you spoke

I amuse myself with this gift too

In the darkest night

And the deepest melancholy

I amuse myself

of myself

Within myself

Me

I think about her all the time.

I see her stumbling; I see and I stay quiet

I laugh but I make sure I don't hear myself

Trust me at this point

I don't even know what 'me' even is

Or 'life': but that's a big one

No one really knows

I do know love

It wins every time

It won my family

It won all the unfortunate men in my life

They had the pleasure of crossing paths with me

They were the unluckiest

(Then there's 'luck': this conversation can go on for hours)

But also

the nicest, the sweetest, the smartest,

Ah - just lovely!

I have been lucky enough to never witness ugliness in people

They say it's out there

I doubt it, but that's just me

A child doesn't know right from wrong

Or wrong from right

Or left or right

Or black or white

Well, the last one: it might

'It' is the baby

'It' is them

'It' is you

'It' is us

'It' is pure; authetic; sweet; innocent; innocent; innocent

Just like me

And just like you

Ugly? Not a chance.

Fa

Sweet-mare

 Words fall short in abundance

And in absence, they scream

An escape in self-defense

To stand up and fight an unholy innocence
Warriors of shame; retreat

Red, meaty and extrovertedly amped
A freshly debilitated hearty rapture
Unsure of a homeland; found its way
On an island of fearless vamps
Where the victims dance in bittersweet torture

Tears run dry, everytime
And I leave the chatroom tamed
A frenzy of an existential philosophy
A scripture that holds the power of divine
Textual godliness is in question and I wish I was given a different name

Be careful when you speak and you mustn't ask why
A blasphemous bait will take you to the graves
of the unspeakably wretched wives
Then where would you find that island of joy
When you're seiged to the red room of harrowing caves

Remorse takes over all love, to your surprise
For the remaining pieces of your worn out heart
They burn to tar
A rightful funeral rightfully deprives
They shame us and tear us apart

Your fate will laugh at your determined choice
A mockery at your unjust demise
Hedon stricken; hellbound bastard child
Your descend is a preset device
They hold the reigns of your rainbow puppet's vice

Fa

Rhyme scheme: ABCAB - 1,4 - 2,5

Stanza length: 5 lines

Total stanza: 6

Love Haiku

 

I met you online

You were the kindest among kinds

Reunited in real life

Fa

Locked Out of Cemetery

 What happens when you lock someone out of cemetery?

When you can't let her visit her child

When you can see the pain in her eyes

The cries of an unborn child;

Denied.

A father, so kind

A daughter - ill-nourished; deprived

Her bloody foot in a silent grave

Her remains flushed in plight; in horror

Or a son - unwanted; disregarded

Failed.

No one will know.

A mockery on her void existence

Dead this, dead that

A comic stance - hilarious, really

Shameful beyond shame

Hurtful beyond hurt

You will be left speechless

Life has its charms

But evil; beyond evil.

Fa 

Unaltered

 For all the times

You were in the driving seat

And were my husband

For all the times

You were lying next to me

And were my lover

For all the times

You were cute and funny and adorable

And were my best friend

A guardian

Lovebird,

A fanatic, fearless, companion

I thank you.

For all the times

You were silent

When I poured my heart out

For all the times

You misunderstood me

When I shared myself inside out

For all the times

I felt scared

When you turned your back on me

In despise,

Unfathomable

nauseating, unspeakable plight

I was such a shame.

I am sorry.

And I thank you.

I love you

And I want to stay away from you

You beautiful, hurtful,

Unaltered disguise.

Fa 

January

 What will January bring?

What will your heart decide?

So many hopes

So much longing

For a daughter

For a fiancè

For a brother

For an innocent and lovely unborn child

For a crime-stricken unborn mother

Unveiled

And undressed

Shamed - isolated and guilt-ridden

For a marriage

Long awaited

For mad love - almost forgotten

What will January bring?

A pregnant belly

With an unborn child

And an unbutchered fetus

A clot that is welcomed

To grow

And be fed

In nausea

And nutrition

With Vitamins without fear

A boy

A girl

Someone wanted

Someone loved

And cared for

Not to be be pushed out

too soon

Out of fear

Out of uncertainty

Unmurdered

None of that

Maybe January will be kind

Fa

Criminal

An uncommitted crime

An unconventional kill - out of uncertainty

Has left me drained

Has left me dead

Has left me dry

To rot

On earth

In hell

Do I believe anymore?

To exist

To try

To love

To fight?

An uncommitted crime.

An uncommitted crime?

Weighs too heavy this time

Weighs too heavy this time. 

Fa

Marshmallow

I love you comes so naturally

predestined fate

For it comes from the

same soul

Same roots

Same language

Same thread

Softly, gently, carefully

towards my

loving caring marshmallow

soul mate

Like magnets,

Madness and guilt

A pillow and its case

Blanket in its warmth

A brother and three years younger sister

The black and the white

Blood and pen

A picture and its frame

Your mother and your dad

Door to the escape;

never apart again

Never apart again

Never apart again

Fa

Young Love

I love it when you come back

to say something (so unimportant)

to kiss me goodbye

for one last time;

one more time,

my sweetheart.

I love it how you are just as addicted

to the kiss

to the touch

to the overwhelming euphoria of each other’s presence

I love it how we are inseparable

after so much drama

all the commotion

the insane stream of tears;

nonetheless,

together.

Fa

Self-love

Peek in and bend

A dark shadow; perhaps just that

Or a rabit?

See if you can

Burnt tar

And dark smoke

Alas! It's a girl

Maybe a trick?

See where it goes

She shivers and writhes,

In ugly desire

And squeaks and cries,

Lies. All lies.

A self-entitled bitch

A step forward, and two taken aback.

Does she even know her name?

She jerks in sleep,

Shaken by her crimes

A little too many

Filthy and defiant

Confused?

Sick?

A belligerent, rebellious nobody

A mirror too much

Reflections, too many

Remind her of the demons:

The papa she abandoned

The mama she resents

Those bloody trousers

That horrible scent

Can you see now?

A white dress - wrapped around her bones and a dance

A lovely, Solitary, dance.

Translucent vase

The black haired witch.

Would you witness the ritual?

She severes the head of the white rabit.

White and red.

Red in white.

She will die a lonely death.

Fa